This Monday Morning

Today I'd rather work with the dogs than the humans. Thank GOD for working from home!

Certain Doom

Certain Doom

Today, I'm causing my own spiral into certain doom. At least to my stomach and mind. I'm working  myself up on every thought that runs through my brain.

This Sunday Morning

I'm still tired but easily wake-up and make my way downstairs, two dogs anxiously in tow. They are ready to see the sun, as am I.  It's a little foggy, but the sun is slowing burning the fog away. It's going to be a great day. I slowly make my way to the kitchen to find a hot cup of coffee waiting for me on the table. Just as I finished, my six year old begs for a bicycle ride. I agree. Together we go outside. The fog is still thick, so thick it feels as if it were lightly raining. We ride anyway.

On my newly repaired bicycle, I think back. It was three years ago I was last on this bike riding along the beach were the Gulf meets the Atlantic. For just a moment, I was back home. And on this Sunday, that's where I'll stay.

Defused

Driving at 80 miles an hour, about 15 over the limit, and trying to defuse a persistent anxiety attack that started 3 hours ago, I suddenly realize I don't remember how I got to this exit. My exit. Will I get over in time? Sure. I had to. I was on my way home and home was really where I wanted to be. I continued thinking, I AM a writer. This is what I want to do...want i want to be. So, damn it! What I write I need to mean. So what if I upset someone. No matter what I do I'm gonna upset someone, somewhere, sometime, somehow. What's done is done and my words, although cryptic, are mine. They mean something. I'm NOT taking them back. I'm not undoing it. I'm sick of giving in to everyone else. I just don't care anymore. And that is how I defused my own anxiety attack today.

Of course, you must want to know how I got here.