Hot and Fooled

It's warm almost hot, but not too hot. I don't have sweat magically appearing on my upper lip as I walk outside. This is perfect. The sun shining, little humidity, and warmth surrounding my body. Then I stop looking up and starting looking around. All I see is emptiness. People getting fatter.

Yeah, I know I put on a few pounds, about ten or so. Okay, maybe fifteen but that was over a few years time and after a major unplanned lifestyle change. Over two hours in a car each day, limited good weather days, and winter will do that too you. But I quickly made a point to get those pounds in check. I lost a few, about 7, real fast, in January. And they are still gone! There's just a few more I'm aggressively pushing a way.

However, that doesn't keep me from noticing that gradual the creep those around me are starting to clearly show. For some it's only ten pounds over the past few years for others it upwards of 50 or more. It's just gross. Oh, I know this is so very shallow of me, but it more than just pounds and looks. The slow creep, it affects everything, right the core of one's being.

And that's not the end of it. There's the lack of vigor, the void that seems to consume them. The lack of self desire to be more that what they are in the present moment. All that is left is the sad look of succumb and given up that displays prominently on their faces.

It doesn't end at the office, on my way home or when I take my son to his extra curricular activities, it's all around. The total lack of 'care'. It's as if I'm surrounded by zombies, real life zombies. There is no excitement. The energy of life down the drain. Where did it end up? Masked by the sunshine?

Today the weather has fooled me into believing there might actually be some beauty in this place after all, but I really know better.

Slight Rain

The upper deck is slightly damp and it's still misting outside. It looks like the sky might be breaking, which is good because the last thing I want today is another unusable Sunday. I start gathering the table setting for breakfast on the deck, place mats, folks, butter, and so forth.  Strawberries are washed and the last few blueberry pancakes are almost finished. Maybe a mimosa would be perfect with breakfast today but I'm out of champagne so my regular weekend coffee and Irish Cream will have to do.   The radio plays Jimmy Buffet's "Tin Cup Chalice". I quietly sing along, "I wanna go back...to the islands" while the tears fill up the corner of my eyes.  I push them back while I finish putting the food on the table, in a haze.  My mind is stuck, once again, in this place between two cities and I'm not even living in one of them, at least not in the present moment. I was there before and I'll have it back again. This is only temporary I remind myself about five times over.