Defused

Driving at 80 miles an hour, about 15 over the limit, and trying to defuse a persistent anxiety attack that started 3 hours ago, I suddenly realize I don't remember how I got to this exit. My exit. Will I get over in time? Sure. I had to. I was on my way home and home was really where I wanted to be. I continued thinking, I AM a writer. This is what I want to do...want i want to be. So, damn it! What I write I need to mean. So what if I upset someone. No matter what I do I'm gonna upset someone, somewhere, sometime, somehow. What's done is done and my words, although cryptic, are mine. They mean something. I'm NOT taking them back. I'm not undoing it. I'm sick of giving in to everyone else. I just don't care anymore. And that is how I defused my own anxiety attack today.

Of course, you must want to know how I got here.